fasterfood:

*3 year old tries to walk into a bar*

“whoa there son aren’t you a little young to enter this bar”

“its what’s on the inside that counts :) <3”

“oh my bad didnt mean to offend anyone here right this way sir”

(via whatsacanada)

esexist:

i love seeing unpopular posts made by really popular bloggers because its like seeing a gucci bag at a garage sale

(via whatsacanada)

sometimelow:

this one time in sixth grade i was waiting for my bus because it was late and this girl was cleaning out her locker and a teacher was helping her and all of the sudden the teacher started screaming and the girl started crying and all i heard was “YOU HAVE A GOLDFISH LIVING IN YOUR LOCKER??!!”

(via whatsacanada)

View high resolution

(via whatsacanada)

deucebowl:

she reaches down seductively. I guide her hand to my zipper. she unzips my fanny pack by mistake. raviolis spill out everywhere

(via whatsacanada)

mcsnuggie:

true self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn

(via whatsacanada)

iwishihadafather:

sharonosbourne:

byrante:

t1r3dofyourbullsh1t:

there are reasons you don’t do the harlem shake

This is the only good harlem shake video on the internet

iM GONNA PISS

I AM FOAMING OUT EVERY ORIFICE OMFG

(via pizzaforpresident)

lonelywhiteasian:

no really i’m funny i swear please stay

(via human-ize)

(via simplyssteph)

justpiercetheveilalready:

i love the feeling of listening to new music and you really like it from the first listen and you just

dude

(via esexist)

urbancatfitters:

i’ve been stressed out since like the third day of second grade

(via esexist)

"My grandkids always beat me at Rock Band. And I say, “Listen, you may beat me at Rock Band, but I made the original records, so shut up."

Paul McCartney (New York Times. February, 2013)

(Source: romanovsinthehizzouse, via anders-tello)

eleventhdoctor:

i may not be beautiful but at least i know a lot of useless information

(Source: grimdark, via esexist)

Yo, Grammar: What’s up with “lay” and “lie”?

theyuniversity:

Lie down, lay your head on the pillow, and go to sleep, homie.

(Source: theyuniversity, via thedaywedied)

kidouyuuto:

last year my chemistry teacher dropped something and yelled “zoo wee mama” and i laughed so hard i passed out and i woke up in the nurses office

(Source: mikisayaka, via pizzaforpresident)